I don't rise and shine... I reluctantly emerge from my blanket burrito, throw back coffee like it's holy water, and pray I don't throat-punch somebody before 10am
A Charlie's Angel morning. Good morning. You know, I signed that release waiver, so you can just feel free to stick things in my slot. Thanks. No problem.
What my coffee maker sees in the morning. A person with long curly hair, shirtless, wearing an open colorful robe and yellow pants, dancing energetically to music in a messy room.
My girlfriend forces me to go on morning walks at 5 AM 😭 Guys, help. So my girlfriend has recently decided that 5 AM morning walks are her new personality. Every single day she wakes up like a motivational speaker, opens the curtains like it's a movie scene, and goes “LET'S GO FOR A WALK 😄 👋” Meanwhile I'm fighting for my life, half-dead, questioni
Look babe, the neighbor still kisses his wife before he goes to work in the morning. Why don't you do that? Why don't I kiss the neighbor's wife? Oh my gosh, babe, I don't even know her. I mean, looking, I guess. I could ask, but only for you. I'll be back. No, no.
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